Overwhelmed 2005

“Overwhelmed — (adjective) rendered powerless especially by an excessive amount or profusion of something;”

How is your new year going?

For me day one was really two days. One part was filled with laughter, warmth, good food, pleasant, spirited conversation and a general sense that this would be the best year of my life. Part two is clouded in mystery but I recall a misunderstanding, angry words, escalating emotion, angst and a general feeling that if this year continues this way I am doomed.

I would like to lay total blame on the dark side for yesterday’s bad part, and certainly one lesson of any faltering is the reminder that there is a dark side and it seeks to do us harm, but the truth is I know the problem is more rooted in what is in me than the forces outside of me.

The inner forces are a combination of overwhelmed and overconfident, a strange mixture indeed.

The overwhelmed part is the realization that I have taken on some large projects this year that may fit the dictionary description of “excessive amount or profusion of something,” in my case a profusion of work and projects. The overconfident part grows out of my sense that in 2004 I learned some major lessons in my walk with God and in my role as servant to my family, and that as a result I have never felt closer to God and loved my family more than right now. This is all true.

Understanding the meaning of truth often requires the proper image and the one that comes to mind as it relates to my overconfidence is mountain climbing. It seems my problem is I somehow believed I had reached the summit of my climb and in reality it appears I have only arrived at a base camp at a lower level on the mountain, well out of reach of the summit and perhaps only one of many staging areas required to actually arrive at the journey’s destination.

This is both good and bad news. The good news is that I did reach camp higher on the mountain than where I stood one year ago. Another piece of good news is that one bad fall (like yesterday) is a setback but not a defeat; I’m still on the mountain and arose today ready to climb again.

The bad news is I’ve got a lot of climbing yet to do, and given that fact that I am already overwhelmed by the workload ahead in 2005, the revelation that there is a lot of climbing yet to do in my personal life makes it all a little more overwhelming.

Which means I find myself back to reliance on God again, which is, of course, where any fully alive and self-aware person should be anyway. The pursuit of and reliance on God is the first priority and lifeline for human existence and starting the year reminded of this is not an altogether bad beginning.

If you face mountains in 2005, you are not alone; God is with you and along the way you’ll run into a few others on the same trail as you.

Yours for the pursuit of God in the company of friends, Dick Staub.

PS. And remember, “these are the best of times and the worst of times, but they are the only times we have.” (For Now).

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