Stolen Laptop: Humor and Solace

Since sharing my stolen laptop woes and lessons learned, your fellow Staublog readers have responded with humor and comfort¢â‚¬¦Here’s a sampling¢â‚¬¦

¢â‚¬¢ Saw this joke and thought of your recent troubles. Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly, God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, “THAT’S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.”

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports. They did every job known to humanity.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than he**. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed. Finally, the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: “It’s gone! It’s all GONE! “I lost everything when the power went out!” Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait!” he screamed. “That’s not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I
don’t have any?”

God just shrugged and said… “JESUS SAVES”

¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢ Dick ¢€œ I wish you a quick and full recovery of the information that was lost when your laptop was stolen. We’ll try to help you later this year with a donation to CFC. Right now, our money is tied up in my new company¢â‚¬¦ Things are good here overall.

¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢ Dick: We love and support you in a life time commitment to you and your ministry: We have increased our lifetime ($)50.00 per month pledge to ($)60.00 per month lifetime pledge. I picked that as a special rememberance of your unusual loss of materials on your recent trip in Europe. I call it 60 for 60, ie for the 60 seconds you had looked away and missed your thief, you can remember one of your many friends who will never look away for this 60 for you and it only took me 60 seconds to read your message and decide by God’s good spirit to help you out with this extra bit more. We have been talking about coming out before the year is out to the live program you have at the Kindlings Muse pub, tell us who to contact to be sure your there when we come ,and what topics there may be upcoming.

¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢ OMG! I just read it and am so sorry to hear about your travel woes. I can sympathize. A number of years ago, my husband and I were mugged in New Haven, Connecticut, while on our first vacation in years, losing his wallet, my purse — everything except our car keys — plus he was conked on the head. I am so glad you were able to recover many of your belongings. That, in itself, is miraculous. Not so miraculous is the feeling of vulnerability that comes with realizing that “bad things” can happen to US, not just other people. I very much enjoy your daily mailings and will try to send a contribution to help replace the missing hardware

¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢¢â‚¬¢ I believe in the work of Dick Staub. I’m an old fan from Chicago ($) 50 paypal contribution enclosed.”

Also–don’t forget to check out the podcast of our interview with Oliver Sacks at

Yours for the pursuit of God in the company of friends, Dick Staub.

PS. And remember, “these are the best of times and the worst of times, but they are the only times we have.” (For Now).

PS 2. If you haven’t yet done so, register for our daily updates. You won’t regret it!

  • Register for CW

  • PS 3.

    If you have comments regarding this column please contact us at:

  • CultureWatch:

  • This web site is supported solely by tax-deductible donations. Please mail your generous contributions to: The Center for Faith and Culture, PO Box 77385, Seattle, Washington 98177

    ‚©CRS Communications 2006

    Posted in Staublog in July 24, 2006 by | No Comments »

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published.

    84 + = 94

    More from Staublog